I live to dream again

In the middle of reading a book that notes the importance of dreams and of projected desires upon dreams i couldn't help but correlate some events.

There is a classical youth dream/nightmare about falling. I not only have had it a lot as a child but actually didn't wake up before impact one time. I only remember it hurt. Recently i've though about an opportunity to get over [and maybe even relive] that event [contradictory desire] - bungee jumping.

Hours went by, [just a few] drinks marked that time and i found myself at dawn stranded, sitting on some stairs desperately fighting sleep because i didn't want to wake up any tent-mates.

Sleep won and because of the sleepless nights before that, DEEP sleep won which made my forward-leaning body to take a dive downward. Luckily -i'm lead to guess- not on the concrete stairs that would have performed quick surgery on my head, but sidewards. Woken up in a slight state of shock (sleeping bodies are used to lighter breathing, not impacts with rocks and dirt) i simply resumed my position before i even had the time to acknowledge what had happened. Similar to when a quick awakening of a tired body makes the subject lose any track of time and space, being just scared.

What bugged me... in the confusion i wasn't sure anything happened and my thought for about 15 seconds revolved around "I've had the fall-dream again".
I felt something was off and after two minutes of thinking [a little] blood rushing through my pants enlightened me. I had not been dreaming.

2009

Aşa că şi-a pus mîna în jurul... mă rog; l-a întors şi a sintetizat remarcabil: "You're definitely from Romania".

Don't be afraid if you hear voices...

Fooneh...

Doesn't a circular argument bug you? Or a shallow one, like

... "Germanos - one of the greatest advertisers in Romania" - That doesn't mean dick :)) No proof or hint of any value at all.

Trying to inoculate the idea that you're valuable cause you advertise? You advertise cause people buy; people buy cause you advertise. This is old... and it may mean you're not totally crap. Cause people would probably stop buying. Nothing beyond that.

counting ... colorblind

Jimmy: what happened to the other kanyes?
Bea 83: kanye north turned white
Bea 83: kanye east got renamed and we now know him as kenya
Jimmy: kenya tell me what about kanye south?
Bea 83: the other kanye...well you should know by nao
Bea 83: HOW DARE YOU
Bea 83: he must not be named!
Jimmy: no, no; that was south central kanye!
Jimmy: :| oops...

The last message [~You could have it so much better]

On a catwalk jungle somebody grabbed my arm
A voice spoke so cold it matched the weapon in her palm

This is Romania
What I'm supposed to die for
This is Romania
And I'm never going to cry no more

Continental wind blows, ice from a dying creed
I see no glory in when will we be free.
----------------------------------

[I got my motorcycle jacket
But I'm walking all the time...]

Whining pussies.

Computer Science teachers DO have a sense of humour. Never listen to a student whining about exams or how teachers flunk kids if they don't write 15 pages or more.

I got great results by using humour in high-profile exams and examples.

"I'm sorry, I just ran out of time and can't finish the problem :)"
-grand finale for the GOOD [Good Object-Oriented Design] exam.

July 2009 volume 1.2.8c

For her sake I'll act compulsive and give a similar name to the entry.

--

You're one of the lucky ones. Not pressured from any direction, free to do as you please. If you feel like fuckin' the school you may simply quit and the parents won't mind. No one's stopping you from becoming a failed street performer... no one feels the need to compel you into striving for "success as a mask for greed", how Zinn put it. You're free to do whatever you wish with your life. You're lucky.

"Democracy" and "freedom" seem to be the main themes in today's societies, whether it's exercising them or striving for vain assurance that we're "free". Taking a closer look you see the vanity of it all. But that's too high profile. Let's just look at your life, Mik. What is there in your life?

Dream of liberty and equality; dream of individuality, think "all different, all equal". But it's hard, ain't it? Willingly or not, you're not part of a system capable of handling that. You're born in a 99.5% WHITE country with orthos-doxa christianity as a norm. When you see that coal-black guy on the street say what you want but you don't act just like you just saw a random guy. And that's "norm"-al, but it's also something to acknowledge. Different people intrigue you. Hope someday they won't.

What about the "norm", one that's blatantly susceptible of hatred towards all that is "different"?
Remember Said? "Whenever you hear our you wanna head for the exit."
Why the fuck do words like nationalism exist when our us is their them? How can one dare say "we" are better because we're the bosses here, when clearly "here" is just chance and there probably is a "there" [out there] where "our" people are oppressed by the bosses "there" - "they"!

Now tell me, anarchist - do you really love "people" or just the concept of "people"?

July 2009 volume 1

A really full week. The last one, not this. On Monday, after plenty of notsleep as I was heading towards the trolley I had a weird succession of thoughts crowned with ONE [cliche] epiphany:

There's not enough love in the world. [1]

Not 5 day later i felt another regret when i was informed that she'll decompensate. I wanted to hear a human explanation to the word. She failed to provide one, instead linking me to an explanation.

The Internet is making reality seem less interesting. [2]

One can get any explanation with examples and coloured ribbons from Google/ Merriam-Webster/ Urban Dictionary. However I feel it lacks human interaction and subjectivity. I often prefer perceiving the world through a friend's eyes and somehow getting a better understanding of him then a rigid definition which uses terms that have to be further researched.

And if I can find anything i want without you and choose to act in such a way... then why the fuck do I need you in my life? It's just a random [intentionally] distorted view, but one to which i partially adhere.

Then came Christine. Because of her i realized

My life would be way better if there was a set of drums to highlight some of my lines. [3]

- of course that probably has to do with a Scrubs-like state of mind.

Jimmy: Eextraordinar. Este un disperat pe-un site care a postat peste 1800 de mesaje din 1 iulie.
Jimmy: Sunt curios- OARE se repetă?!? ...Nici Cioran nu cred că avea atîta material!
prietenii imi spun Adi: :)
prietenii imi spun Adi: Are multe de spus.
prietenii imi spun Adi: Deci nu gîndeşte prea mult.

L'anarquisme est un humanisme

I saved a fuckin' bug today.
From the toilet. It seemed a much too crueler fate to be in such a wrong place at such a wrong time and have some being you can't understand push a button which drowns you.
I felt like that was one lucky tiny bug.

- Later! 
- Sorry, Major, there is no later. The future's been canceled by the War Department.
They're just gonna replay the past.

Benjamin Franklin Pierce

mindless

I found myself singing this out loud in the middle of the street yesterday; 

Yo-uh can do what'cha want
Yrr so-oh young 'n' loveleh....

"No Monsters In Me"

Random thoughts, ideas and plagiarisms from the phone Drafts folder.

"Steven Wells amar"

":), it can't be that bad. " [unei necunoscute pe stradă]

"Mere-ntr-o rîmă"

"frumos verdeaţă abandon mister" [D.T-S]

"Have a Great concert tonight. Ok, it won't be great cuz i'm not there but at least make the best of it" [adormit înainte de a apăsa Send]

"Nu muri."

"Multumesc"

(empty)

"Îmi place să mă uit la oameni/fete... şi să observ cît de mult le ia să-mi distrugă plăcuta primă impresie. De cele mai multe ori trebuie doar să deschidă gura. Cu un echilibru misogino-misandru afirm că la fete e mai spectaculos. Ele sunt drăguţe din start." [gînd de tramvai]

"Mârza şi prietena lui Vasile sunt un tot unitar.  ... Dana, nu am stabilit noi că gîndeşti înainte să vorbeşti?"

"What's the point of karaoke? If i wanna go see a drunken idiot sing an Amy Winehouse song I'll go see Amy Winehouse" [stand-up comedian, cracked me up]

"Tîmpitule, ştii ce? Dacă ne prinde Garda pişîndu-ne pe pom ne dă şi amendă de flotant!"

"Federal poverty line. Somalia. Scott Peterson. Marge Piercy. Înainte de success as a mask for greed. Eight baskets. Harvard. Seattle. We are not hated. Is there a national interest 1.001 Shelley rise like lions"

"Frate Martinule, asta-i viaţa. Şi s-o-ntors şi-o plecat" [consolare către soţ la moartea soţiei]

"În tătă seara eram acolo cînd aveam prieteni" [un act ratat care din păcate rezumă involuntar viaţa celui care a vorbit]

"E un animal mic şi neajutorat. Da, ştiu - tocmai de-aia îmi permit. Dacă era leu nu-i dădeam una"

"Cercei brăţară colier. Alb, negru, alb cu negru, argintiu, auriu, albastru, turcoaz"

"Pet Sematary. Zizek"

"Am primit la 6 dimineaţa mesajul :P Şi încă nu eram acasă." [asta probabil e o minciună]

"Jon Savage. England's dreaming. Sex Pistols"

"Procesul culturii constă într-un dresaj progresiv al animalului din om. Este un proces de domesticire care nu se poate realiza fără revolta naturii umane instrăinate de libertate"

Dar dacă minţi frumos? Se creează un paradox?

Ea: "Nu-i frumos să minţi.
Zice şi pe undeva prin porunci sau prin păcatele de moarte"

Ea: "Nu, tot urît e."